Saturday, June 16, 2012

Eat my shoe you little Bastard:The day I decide to win

I survived a week, let's celebrate shall we?
Hmmm what should we do? Sleep a solid 9 hours, HELL FREAKIN' YES!
Aye am a parti animal guyz, PAR-TEA- AN-E-MAL, I also don't spell, that shit's for city folks.
So you may be wondering based on the title of this post, who is the poor bastard eating this crazed farm girl's shoe? Let me clue you in, it is a giant hand spider beast who I was forced to squash in order to use the bathroom. Now, anyone who knows anything about me knows I pee 500,000,000,0000 times a day and I am a nervous pee-er, which means I run the water while I pee because I don't like people hearing me, I close the door because I am a human, and I pee when I am in anxiety producing situations: like if I have an audition, a test, or a meal to eat soon. SO you can imagine my dismay when I run into the bathroom to find a bold little bastard of a spider just staring me down directly across from my sanctuary aka the toilet.
Well this ain't gonna work. If I can't have people hear me pee, I sure as hell won't be able to go with this bastard giving me the stink eye. (Full disclosure I am not using the term "bastard" correctly, I in fact have no previous knowledge of this spider's mother and do not know if he was hatched out of wedlock).
So needless to say I won that staring match, unless of course you consider going and getting a shoe to murder your competitor which case I just won at life. HASHTAG farm life, EAT MY SHOE SUCKA.

Another farm moment came this morning when my room mate came out of the bathroom in a towel and said,
"I think we have a hot water problem"....And no the problem wasn't that we had too much hot water. Normally, I would have just not showered, but my mother was coming to visit today and it had been a solid 3 days without showering and my hair was now just molded into a ponytail shape without the elastic.

Ice cold shower because the water heater broke- check. I can do anything now, killed an eight legged monster, suffered through some serious ice flow, I've pretty much done all there is, right?

Happy almost father's day!
- Falafel


  1. Ah, dear little Falafel
    Soon your picture will be over the desk at the Mexican restaurant in town -right next to the pride of Eureka: Ronald Reagan's.
    -Mama Empanada

    1. Yeah except mine will have a "Most Wanted" sign above it, vs hearts and smiles.